Father O’Malleys Picks of the Week! – Week 6

By: Father O’Malley

A Friend of the Clergy

Father O’Malley was unable to make his weekly predictions last week, due to a death in the family. He returned late Thursday night, still drunk and reeking of airplane toilet bowl fluid. All Father O’Malley wanted to do was talk college football and of course head to a bar. Let’s take a look at Father O’s week 6 predictions…

 Week 6 Picks

Game 1

#17 Auburn vs. Arkansas (12:00 PM Kickoff), Fayetteville, AR

Father O says: Have you ever watched the National Geographic Channel before? Have you ever seen when they show different types of animals in Africa? Well if you haven’t you might want to watch this game on Saturday. Arkansas, which we will call the little piggies, and Auburn which we will just call the tigers are going to take the field, or let’s call it the Serengeti. The little piggies will be waddling around, stuffing their fat little faces with grass and berries, all the things you would expect from a little piggy. Then the camera pans off to the distance, where you see a tiger sitting in a tree. The fat little piggies are so busy stuffing their fat little faces to realize they are walking right under the tree with the tiger in it. All of a sudden, the tiger jumps out of the tree and rips the little piggies apart. Now, that may have been a stretch from what is really going to happen on Saturday, but pretty close. Auburn 35-14.

Game 2

# 3 Alabama vs. #20 Ole Miss (3:30 PM Kickoff), Oxford, MS

Father O says: This game is going to be like a Civil War reenactment mixed with a NASCAR race. All the gas stations and truck stops in northern Mississippi have been stock piling Busch Light, Skoal, and confederate flag bumper stickers just for this game! You have two good southern teams fighting it out in Mississippi on a hot Saturday afternoon, can it really get any better? The answer is yes. After the game, fans from both sides will be able to travel down the street to Rebels bar and grill for their weekly Karaoke and Mud Wrestling extravaganza! So does it really matter who is going to win the game? Alabama 17-10.

Game 3

#1 Florida vs. # 4 LSU (8:00 PM Kickoff) Baton Rouge, LA

Father O says: Is Tim Tebow going to be able to play on Saturday? Is his boo boo healed up? Did Urban Meyer kiss it and make Timmy feel all better? Cause if he doesn’t play on Saturday, I don’t know if I will be able to live…. HA, those poor pathetic Florida fans. Whether or not Tim Tebow plays on Saturday is irrelevant.  The last time I checked they were the Florida Gators, not the Florida Tebows. Seriously, If Florida is as good as they say they are, they should be able to play with or without Tim “the prophet” Tebow. But they won’t have to worry about playing without Tebow. The resurrection of Tim Tebow is about to happen. Tim Tebow will rise up from the swamps of Baton Rouge and take town LSU. Did you honestly think that Super T was going to miss the biggest game of the season? Florida with Tim Tebow 24-17.

Game 4

#22 Georgia Tech vs. #93 Florida State (8:00 PM Kickoff), Tallahassee, FL

Father O says: Is it even possible for things to get worse for Florida State? Honestly, let’s think about this for a moment. The last time Florida State started the season 2-3 was 1983. Ronald Reagan was President, gas cost 25 cents a gallon and none on the current Florida State Criminoles were even alive, let alone committing any crimes yet. Bobby Bowden is going to face something that I don’t know if he has ever done before in his career. He is about to go 2-4 when FSU loses to Georgia Tech on Saturday. Here is actual video footage from campus this week. Georgia Tech 35-10, dag gummit.

Game 5

Michigan vs. #12 Iowa (8:00 PM Kickoff), Iowa City, IA

Father O says: The debacle that is the Big Ten is going to have yet another exciting game on Saturday. Iowa is sitting big after there primetime win over Penn State two weeks ago, and their HUGE victory over Sun Belt  powerhouse Arkansas State last week. Michigan finally got knocked off there pedestal last week when they got beat in overtime by Michigan State. The fact of the matter is that Michigan losing last week to Michigan State was a fluke, and Iowa is just a fluke. Michigan is going to rebound behind their QB Tate Forcier and take down Iowa. Go figure yet ANOTHER Big Ten upset????? Michigan 28-14.

Check Back Monday for Father O’Malley’s Week 6 Results!