Father O’Malley’s Picks of the Week! – Week 9

By: Father O’Malley

A Friend of the Clergy

Father O’Malley was extremely excited that this Saturday involves two of his favorite things; College Football and giving candy to little kids while dressed up as the Notre Dame Leprechaun. Father O’Malley remembers the past when he was allowed to run the “Spooky Haunted Manor”. Father O hasn’t run his “Spooky Manor” since the “incident”.  A few years back, Father O drank a little too much moonshine while he was running the haunted house, and started having hallucinations that the children dressed up as ghosts and goblins were actually ghosts and goblins. After trying to perform several exorcisms and punching a few goblins in the face, the diocese didn’t feel it was best that Father O ran his “Spooky Manor” anymore. Father O just sits out front of the church with his spiritual awareness juice, and hands out candy, and occasionally does push-ups while singing the Notre Dame Fight song…

Week 9 Picks

Game 1

Georgia vs. Florida (3:30 PM Kickoff), Jacksonville, FL

Father O says: The World’s Largest Cocktail Party! Mixing football with drinks is always a good idea to me… honestly can it get any better? Florida has had a rough couple of weeks, squeaking by Arkansas and Mississippi State, Tim Tebow apologizing for the poor performances of the offense… blah, blah, blah. I think Florida needs to quit being a bunch of little girls, and man up for God’s sake. You’re the defending National Champs, why don’t you at least put up the front that you’re tough and that you’re going to go out there and kill someone, but NOOOOO!  Ummm… we’re the Florida Gators, and ummm, we’re sorry for our inappropriate football playing over the past two weeks… I hope that you will please forgive us… Give me a freaking break, you sound like a bunch of sissies from the Big Ten! If Florida comes out with that sissy ass attitude on Saturday they’ll get taken to the wood shed by Georgia. I’m going with the sissies, and I hope they don’t make me look stupid! Florida 24-21.

Game 2

Washington State vs. Notre Dame (7:30 PM Kickoff), San Antonio, TX

Father O says: The Irish are playing Washington State … where you ask? In TEXAS? Get the hell out of here! You know damn well that the only reason they are playing this game in Texas is because Charlie Weis had a craving for Tex-Mex a few years back when they made the schedule. The portly head honcho of the Irish is more concerned about chimichangas and tacos than his team playing at home, at the most holy football stadium on earth! This game shouldn’t be close…Notre Dame 35-13.

Game 3

Texas vs. Oklahoma State (8:00 PM Kickoff), Stillwater, OK

Father O says: I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that Texas’ luck is about to run out. Texas has played close games all year long and I just have a feeling that it all ends this Saturday. Maybe it’s the booze talking, but I think it’s time for Bevo to be slaughtered? The Cowboys are going to upset Texas in Stillwater Saturday night, and kill any chances of them making it to the National Title. Oklahoma State 18-16.

Game 4

USC vs. Oregon (8:00 PM Kickoff), Eugene, OR

Father o says: I wonder what kind of uni’s Oregon is going to wear on Saturday since it is Halloween? Do you think their uniforms are going to look like actual ducks, or maybe they’ll dress up like USC? Hell, they already have 10 different uniforms, what would it hurt?  I only wish LeGarrette Blount was still playing. It would be great for him to have a little post game “handshake” with Pete Carroll… Too bad… LeGarrette Blount or not, Oregon is going to upset USC. Or at least I hope they do! Oregon 17-14.

Game 5

Michigan State vs. Minnesota (8:00 PM Kickoff), Minneapolis, MN

Father O says: Who is the Rhodes Scholar who decided to schedule a game for late October, at night, in the middle of Minnesota, in an outdoor stadium? Maybe they thought they still played in a dome? Seriously, what the hell were you thinking? Have you ever been to Minnesota in October, Mr. Schedule maker? It starts snowing in Minnesota at the end of September! Kids buy Halloween costumes 3 sizes too big, so they can wear their winter coat underneath! Real smart Einstein… Because it is going to be -22 at game time I am going to pick Minnesota. They’re used to this crazy weather, their like a bunch of polar bears. The polar bears win; I mean Minnesota wins, 14-10.

Check Back on Monday for Father O’s Results!